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4. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the.

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Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal (/

Why Your Team Sucks 2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some people are fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Tampa Bay Bucs. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here.

Your team: Tampa Bay Bucs. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 9- 7.

In those seven losses, the Bucs gave up nearly five touchdowns a game. Derek Carr hung 5. Raiders committed 2. The Rams hung 3. 7 on them somehow. This is a rough estimate, but 9.

Tavon Austin’s total receiving yards last year came against the Bucs. But please keep telling me that this is an up- and- coming defense. This team still starts Chris Conte. During real games, no less! Your coach: Dirk Koetter.

I don’t think I’m going to forget how.” Well actually, Dirk, in your NFL career your teams have had a winning percentage below . So it’s not that you’ve forgotten how to call plays, but rather the fact that you never learned how to call them to begin with. By the way, the Bucs were this season’s designated Hard Knocks victim.

Let’s see what kind of EXCLUSIVE ACCESS we’ve been given into Koetter and his coaching methods. Christ. Honestly, it’s like they just draw slogans out of a hat every year. Your quarterback: Congratulations, Jameis Winston!

Your sexual battery case was finally dismissed after reaching an undisclosed settlement with your accuser! Finally, you can put this whole ordeal behind you. What a hardship it must have been. Now Jameis is free to be a “leader” who “absorbs the playbook like a sponge” and “routinely commits turnovers that belong in silent comedies”: Every time I gotta read some horseshit about Jameis’s uncommon maturity and growth as a passer, it’s like people completely forget that, at least once a game, he will take the snap and proceed to re- enact every Nordberg scene from The Naked Gun. By the way, Jameis has been the showcase star of this season’s Hard Knocks. Here he is killing a cockroach while it’s mating: Technically, that’s ALSO sexual assault. And here he is acting like Taylor Swift in the front row of an award show: I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that Jameis Winston may not be the most genuine (or mature) fellow in the world.

Fresh off beating the rap, he had the balls to lecture a group of schoolgirls about being silent, polite, and gentle. Fuck his phony ass with a pirate flag. Thankfully, the Bucs imported a MENTOR to help him become 5. That’s right. It’s Harvard Man, in the flesh! I could be dead in the ground 5. I swear that Ryan Fitzpatrick could still be holding down an NFL roster spot for no reason whatsoever.

This team now has not one, but TWO Harvard grads on the roster. I swooooon at the potential for elevated sideline discourse. Just sipping some Gatorade and discussing the impact on South China Sea trade routes should a preemptive strike in North Korea take place .

Yes, after trading up to draft Roberto Aguayo in the second round, the Bucs had to cut him and replace him with Nick Folk. That’s what you get for FSU- ifying half the roster. No one should ever let this team forget about the Aguayo draft bust. This was already one of the worst picks in draft history before they released the poor bastard.

They should put a monument to the trade next to the stadium bathroom. GM Jason Licht should have to walk around with a sandwich board that says I TOOK A KICKER IN THE SECOND ROUND LIKE A MORON all day long.“I’m owning up to it by releasing him. It was a bold move and it didn’t work out. I don’t know what else to say.” “Bold” isn’t the word I’d use there, amigo. Elsewhere on the roster, De.

Sean Jackson is here! On paper, the arrival of Jackson and absolute stud TE OJ Howard (drafted to replace the drunk driver they originally had at that slot) make the Bucs one of the best young passing teams in football.

But, as someone who has watched De. Sean Jackson over the years, I can assure you that every accidental fumble Winston makes is one that Jackson can make deliberately. Doug Martin was suspended for the first four games for Adderall, and will be suspended four more after he beats my ass for screaming MUSCLE HAMSTER at him from a nearby balcony.

Mike Evans drops passes as swiftly as he drops visible Anthem protests. One of the linemen dined and dashed on a five- figure club tab. What has always sucked: Miko Grimes claimed that she deliberately got her husband cut in Miami so he could come to Tampa. You played yourself, lady. Only an idiot would scheme to leave the glistening shores of South Beach to go to live in the middle of a Dog the Bounty Hunter fancon. She must have thought she could avoid the tax man there.

I may be biased here because a jury of Tampa tattoo artists bankrupted this site’s former company, but for real, Fuck Tampa. Tampa is the Arizona of Florida.

Tampa is a seething mass of divorcees and wannabe pirates deliberately living in the cheesiest possible area. The Bucs stadium isn’t even the most popular building on its block (that honor goes to Mons Venus). There’s a reason that Jon Gruden has a completely unironic love of Hooters.

That’s 1. 00 percent Tampa right there. I’m surprised they don’t blare Hoobastank from air raid signals all day long.

I took my family to Tampa for Spring Break once. Seagulls tried to eat our dinner every night and some lady brought an entire hi- fi system to the pool so she could play Bon Jovi. Tampa is the worst. It’s the only city in America aiming to REDUCE mass transit.

Nazis are everywhere. Local sports teams had to give money just to get a Confederate statue taken down and it still hasn’t been taken down. A local middle school tried to sell kids a $1. The Scientologists are the most normal people there. Fuck Tampa eternally.

VIVA GAWKER, MOTHERFUCKER. What might not suck: They’re good enough on offense to score 4. Did you know? HEAR IT FROM BUCS FANS! Matthew: Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Robert Aguayo. Anton: There is nothing worse than waiting for decades for your team to get a potentially elite QB and then have him be an alleged rapist.

Who tells groups of young girls they need to shut up and let the men lead. Alex: Fuck Josh Freeman. Joseph: In two season Jameis will be the Bucs all=time leader in passing yards, surpassing Vinny fucking Testaverde. Jeb Lund: The problem with Why Your Team Sucks is that, every year, I strive to think of something uniquely bad about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, some suck- property that grounds the team athletically and geographically in a characteristic awfulness that other people can point to and say, “I get why thisteam blows.”But I’m starting to think that’s misguided, like writing a negative review of a flat, sad Big Mac. It’s a mediocrity expected, universal and unenlightening, as dissatisfying as you want it to be, assuming you need to buy it at all.

Apart from the pirate ship, Raymond James Stadium is unlovely in the way most stadiums are unlovely. It’s not exiled to some featureless exurban hinterland, but it’s not in a downtown core accessible to walking or convenient public transportation. Before games, the neighborhood food carts and stalls are all pleasantly above average; afterward, the hassle of finding a way to get to something else to do is what you’d expect. Are the owners soulless profiteers using the NFL revenue stream to underwrite more exciting pursuits while relying on die- hard, underserved suckers? Does this distinguish them from most NFL owners? A Bucs fan gets grifted like everybody else.

Dirk Koetter seems like every other NFL coach without a defining malignancy or singular gift—destined to answer the future announcer trivia question, “What coach last led the Bucs to the postseason?” with, “They lost in the Wild Card to Atlanta/Dallas/Green Bay/etc.” He’s Steve Mariucci with the chance to become Dennis Green.

Shaquille O'Neal - Wikipedia. Shaquille O'Neal.

O'Neal in 2. 01. 1Personal information. Born(1. 97. 2- 0. March 6, 1. 97. 2 (age 4. Newark, New Jersey. Nationality. American. Listed height. 7 ft 1 in (2. Listed weight. 32.

Career information. High school. Robert G. Cole(San Antonio, Texas)College. LSU (1. 98. 9–1. 99.

NBA draft. 19. 92 / Round: 1 / Pick: 1st overall. Selected by the Orlando Magic.

Playing career. 19. Position. Center. Number. 32, 3. 4, 3.

Career history. 19. Orlando Magic. 19. Los Angeles Lakers. Miami Heat. 20. 08–2. Phoenix Suns. 20. Cleveland Cavaliers. Boston Celtics. Career highlights and awards.

Los Angeles Lakers. No. 3. 2 retired by Miami Heat. FIBA World Championship MVP (1. USA Basketball Male Athlete of the Year (1.

College national player of the year (1. LSUMc. Donald's All- American MVP (1. Career statistics. Points. 28,5. 96 (2. Rebounds. 13,0. 99 (1. Funhouse Massacre (2015) Movie Dvd Quality.

Blocks. 2,7. 32 (2. Stats at Basketball- Reference. Basketball Hall of Fame as player. College Basketball Hall of Fame. Inducted in 2. 01. Shaquille Rashaun O'Neal (sh.

Listed at 7 ft 1 in (2. He quickly became one of the best centers in the league, winning Rookie of the Year in 1. NBA Finals. After four years with the Magic, O'Neal signed as a free agent with the Los Angeles Lakers. They won three consecutive championships in 2.

Amid tension between O'Neal and Kobe Bryant, O'Neal was traded to the Miami Heat in 2. NBA championship followed in 2. Midway through the 2. Phoenix Suns. After a season- and- a- half with the Suns, O'Neal was traded to the Cleveland Cavaliers in the 2. He is one of only three players to win NBA MVP, All- Star game MVP and Finals MVP awards in the same year (2. Willis Reed in 1.

Michael Jordan in 1. He ranks 8th all- time in points scored, 6th in field goals, 1. Largely due to his ability to dunk the basketball, O'Neal also ranks third all- time in field goal percentage (5. He has appeared in numerous films and has starred in his own reality shows, Shaq's Big Challenge and Shaq Vs.

He hosts The Big Podcast with Shaq. Toney struggled with drug addiction and was imprisoned for drug possession when O'Neal was an infant. Upon his release, he did not resume a place in O'Neal's life and instead agreed to relinquish his parental rights to O'Neal's stepfather, Phillip A. Harrison, a career Army sergeant. I had a good life.

I had Phil. I didn't even play on a team. Cole High School in San Antonio, Texas, O'Neal led his team to a 6. However, jersey number 3. O'Neal chose to wear 3. He had first met Dale Brown, LSU's men's basketball coach, years earlier in Europe.

O'Neal's stepfather was stationed on a U. S. Army base at Wildflecken, West Germany. While playing for Brown at LSU, O'Neal was a two- time All- American, two- time SECPlayer of the Year, and received the Adolph Rupp Trophy as NCAA men's basketball player of the year in 1. AP and UPI. O'Neal left LSU early to pursue his NBA career, but continued his education even after becoming a professional player. During that summer, prior to moving to Orlando, he spent a significant amount of time in Los Angeles under the tutelage of Hall of Famer Magic Johnson. He was named the 1.

NBA Rookie of the Year and became the first rookie to be voted an All- Star starter since Michael Jordan in 1. On more than one occasion during the year, Sports Illustrated writer Jack Mc. Callum overheard O'Neal saying, . On November 2. 0, 1. New Jersey Nets, O'Neal registered the first triple- double of his career, recording 2.

Teamed with newly drafted Anfernee . In his first playoff series, O'Neal averaged 2. Magic lost every game to the Indiana Pacers. O'Neal's third season in 1. NBA in scoring with a 2.

MVP voting to David Robinson and entering his third straight All- Star Game along with Hardaway. They formed one of the league's top duos and helped Orlando to a 5. Atlantic Division crown. The Magic won their first ever playoff series against the Boston Celtics in the 1. NBA Playoffs. They then defeated the Chicago Bulls in the conference semifinals. After beating Reggie Miller's Indiana Pacers, the Magic reached the NBA Finals, facing the defending NBA champion Houston Rockets.

O'Neal played well in his first Finals appearance, averaging 2. Despite this, the Rockets, led by future Hall- of- Famers Hakeem Olajuwon and Clyde Drexler, swept the series in four games. He averaged 2. 6. All- NBA 3rd Team, and played in his 4th All- Star Game. Despite O'Neal's injuries, the Magic finished with a regular season record of 6.

Eastern conference to the Chicago Bulls, who finished with an NBA record 7. Orlando easily defeated the Detroit Pistons and the Atlanta Hawks in the first two rounds of the 1. NBA Playoffs; however, they were no match for Jordan's Bulls, who swept them in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Los Angeles Lakers (1. O'Neal became a free agent after the 1. NBA season. In the summer of 1. O'Neal was named to the United States Olympic basketball team, and was later part of the gold medal- winning team at the 1. Olympics in Atlanta.

While the Olympic basketball team was training in Orlando, the Orlando Sentinel published a poll that asked whether the Magic should fire Hill if that were one of O'Neal's conditions for returning. O'Neal averaged 2. Los Angeles; however, he again missed over 3. The Lakers made the playoffs, but were eliminated in the second round by the Utah Jazz in five games. On December 1. 7, 1. O'Neal shoved Dennis Rodman of the Chicago Bulls; Rodman's teammates Scottie Pippen and Michael Jordan restrained Rodman and prevented further conflict.

The Los Angeles Daily News reported that O'Neal was willing to be suspended for fighting Rodman, and O'Neal said: . He led the league with a 5. The Lakers finished the season 6.

Pacific Division, and were the second seed in the western conference during the 1. NBA Playoffs. After defeating the Portland Trail Blazers and Seattle Super. Sonics in the first two rounds, the Lakers again fell to the Jazz, this time in a 4–0 sweep.

However, personnel changes were a source of instability during the 1. Long- time Laker point guard Nick Van Exel was traded to the Denver Nuggets; his former backcourt partner Eddie Jones was packaged with back- up center Elden Campbell for Glen Rice to satisfy a demand by O'Neal for a shooter. Coach Del Harris was fired, and former Lakers forward Kurt Rambis finished the season as head coach. The Lakers finished with a 3. Although they made the playoffs, they were swept by the San Antonio Spurs, led by Tim Duncan and David Robinson in the second round of the Western Conference playoffs. The Spurs would go on to win their first NBA title in 1. Championship seasons.

In 1. 99. 9, prior to the 1. Lakers hired Phil Jackson as head coach, and the team's fortunes soon changed. Jackson immediately challenged O'Neal, telling him . O'Neal was named MVP of the NBA Finals all three times and had the highest scoring average for a center in NBA Finals history. After O'Neal blocked a layup by Barkley, O'Neal shoved Barkley, who then threw the ball at O'Neal.

Fred Hickman, then of CNN, instead chose Allen Iverson, then of the Philadelphia 7. MVP the next season. O'Neal also won the scoring title while finishing second in rebounds and third in blocked shots.

Jackson's influence resulted in a newfound commitment by O'Neal to defense, resulting in his first All- Defensive Team selection (second- team) in 2. It's a shame that the referees buy into that. He punched center Brad Miller after an intentional foul to prevent a basket, resulting in a melee with Miller, forward Charles Oakley, and several other players.

It starts with c and ends with t. O'Neal referred to Divac as . His trademark mobility and explosion had been often absent. The corrective options ranged from reconstructive surgery on the toe to rehabilitation exercises with more shoe inserts and anti- inflammation medication.

O'Neal was already wary of the long- term damage his frequent consumption of these medications might have. He did not want to rush a decision with his career potentially at risk.